Telephone Robotics

humour, thoughts and observations

Hubby and I detest AI with a passion. Hubby detests them because it upsets me so much that my baking suffers.

As for me, I do understand that AI can help sort out the mundane and lets a real person carry on with their real work, whatever that is. But in this 21st Century, why aren’t robots programmed better?

My phone company prides itself on “Customer Satisfaction.” I always visualized happy humans chatting with clients who had problems but these happy humans always knew the solution.

Really? To get to Customer Service and reach that “satisfaction” level, a human client has to first navigate past a Robot.

Robot: Hello–How may I help you today? Do you require “Home” or “Business?”

Me: Home please

Robot: Would you require assistance for Telephone, Internet or Cable?

Me: Telephone

Robot: What is the problem?

Me: Dead phone

Robot: Could you repeat that please? I do not understand.

Me: Phone has no connection.

Robot: I do not understand. Please repeat in simpler words.

Me: Phone. Died.

Robot: How may I help you?

Me: Need a real person

Robot: Please repeat

Me: Agent NOW

Robot: Sorry. Do you want Home or Business?

Me: AGENT

Robot: Perhaps I can help. What is your problem?

Me: AGENT ASAP

Robot: Please repeat

Me: AGENT YOU DUMBASS!

Robot: I believe you requested an agent. Is that for “Live Chat” or a call-back?

Me: CHAT YOU BLOCKHEAD!

Robot: I’m sorry. I do not understand. Please repeat.

(A heavy sigh from me . . .) Me: CHAT

Recently Hubby and I moved into the 21st Century with the installation of fibre optics and available Wifi in our home. The latest tuggle with AI was a message we discovered on the phone screen. We had a voice message. No problem. We accessed the voice mail with our usual access code. But we were stymied when a robot insisted on a second password to actually retrieve our message. Hubby and I looked at each other. Did we ever have a second password to hear our messages? Never.

This meant another call to our phone service. However, this time we chose the landline route and got into the right queue without the aid of a robot. Forty-five minutes later, we talked to a real human who understood our problem immediately. She set us up with access to our voice mail and with the option of changing the temporary password later to one we preferred.

By this time I was beginning to worry just how urgent this message was. If it turned out to be a marketing ploy, I was ready to stomp on the troublemaking message recorder and its artificial innards.

Hubby and I held our collective breaths while we made it through each successful step–tapped our usual coded access to the voice-mail; punched in our new secondary code to retrieve and finally hear our voice-mail.

A robotic voice announced: “Welcome to your new voice mail. I am the robot who will guide you through the easy steps of this tutorial to set up your new system. It will take only a few minutes of your time. Let’s begin by. . .

Welcomed to AI, whether you want it or not. It’s like waking up to a sci-fi where the robots have finally taken over the planet.

Spring Has Sprung. . . .

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It was the white Winter Rose (Hellebores) that caught my eye. I was on a mission to see what was Springing forth on such a warm day. AND there was plenty to catch my eye as gardeners busily cleared the winter debris off their grounds and scurried to the Garden Centre to find plants to pop into the ground.

I wanted to find unusual things that perhaps get missed on the day-to-day walks. Today was another treasure-trove. . . on my first Spring walk for 2024.

Someone had spruced up this trendy birdhouse for some lucky birds looking for their perfect Spring-time nest. . . .

I had almost missed this rocky frog, sitting peacefully atop his rocky perch and shaded slightly by the drooping leaves.

I never knew that magnolia buds were “furry”–so all winter long I was waiting for pussy willows. Boy, was I wrong!

These fat pink buds began to finally unfurl and will grow into those fat fabulous magnolias that are my favorites.

I knew Oak Bay was big on recycling and this free neighborhood library is an “original.”

Where else would you find a vintage radio converted to a free library?

I’m glad the clever person also loved his/her books. . . .

On my homeward walk back home, I sighted this pair of cheerful blue birds, destined to be placed somewhere in this large garden.

I hope the owners put them somewhere obvious as they are too cute to be hidden . . . .

Almost home and enjoying this first full day of Spring—-my mission was successful and my reward of a triple chocolate brownie almost in my grasp.

HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!

SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO

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I was thinking the other day how the seasons are so different in making their entrances.

Spring is shy and coy. She is bashful and loving and filled with Life as her green shoots, young growth and tiny blossoms emerge petal by petal. Suddenly the toddler emerges as a beautiful young lady, dressed in her creams and pinks, mauves and blues, yellows and whites. Spring is filled with innocence and joy.

Summer is passionate and fiery. She is hot-blooded and enthused, eager to show the world what they are missing. She is Spring’s “older” sister, a contradiction of glamor, fun-loving and fully embraces all that Life has to offer. Summer is exuberant and playful.

Autumn is a settling of Summer’s wild abandonment. It was amusing and entertaining while it lasted, but now it’s time to get serious. Autumn is the season to slow down and seriously consider one’s choices. This is the time to contemplate and admire what has been accomplished; to enjoy the bounty. . . .

At last we come to Winter.

It’s interesting to note that Winter is considered the Old Man. Why is that? This season can be cranky and grumpy; difficult and complaining; bad-tempered and crabby. He shows his feelings by tossing snow-storms and rain-storms. But he can show his good side too with displays of winter-berries and holly. Best of all, Winter has a festive spirit as well.

Old Man Winter tends to slow down and hibernate–just like the senior season he is.

But we all know that eventually, shy and bashful Spring will emerge and make her entrance again, proving once more that seasons come and go in their own distinctive ways.

My Christmas Wish For You

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Despite the wars, unrest and turmoil abroad and within, I wish I had the power to demand Peace. 

A tiny tree, bare of leaves, but made beautiful in the Spirit of the Season.

I want to give the gift of Hope and to show that Joy does exist, even in the simplest of things.

This was a bare corner of a large building and some one there, who is very creative, made a “statement” using the empty planters, pots and plants who were comin g to a “resting” stage. . .

The gem and stone store showed its Holiday spirits by using gems as the window display. . . .

My favorite store, Gardenworks, never disappoints in seasonal displays.

So many enjoyable, unexpected, simple moments– and there for anyone to appreciate. I count my blessings every day that I have these moments. BUT I wish I could command that wars stop so others can hear and savor peace–not bombs and destruction

     “It’s Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.“  W.T.Ellis 

    “Christmas works like glue. It keeps us all sticking together.”–Rosie Thomas

    ”Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”—Charles M. Schulz

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. MAY THE LOVE AND JOY OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON TAKE YOUR FOOTSTEPS TO FABULOUS ADVENTURES AND FUN TIMES IN 2024! 

GRANDMA’S TRIPLE CHOCOLATE DOODLES (Recipe for. . .)

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I never realized how many “doodlers” are out there, drooling over my Grandma’s “Triple Chocolate Doodles. ” My family has always called these “doodles” because it was a fun thing to request. And lots of chocolate makes it special. . . . Do let me know how these turn out for you! The reduced sugar is correct as the added chocolate chips and chunks are added sweetness.

Cream together 1 cup butter or margarine with 1/2 cup granulated sugar and 1/3 cup brown sugar. Beat in 2 large eggs with 2 teaspoons vanilla extract. Stir in 2 heaping tablespoons of Fry’s Unsweetened Cocoa Powder, 2 teaspoons baking powder, heaping cup of dark chocolate chips and 1 cup dark chocolate chunks. Gradually stir in 2 -1/2 cups flour (may be less or may be more–hate to say this but it must “feel” right. . .) Refrigerate the dough for 10-minutes.

Line the cookie sheets with parchment paper. Drop by heaping tablespoon onto prepared sheets. Flatten very slightly with a fork if desire. Bake at 350 degrees F. for 15 to 18 minutes. Cookies are slightly crisp at the edges and soft with melty chocolate inside. Allow to sit on the cookie sheets for 2 minutes before removing to cool on the racks.

TRIPLE CHOCOLATE DOODLES

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NOTE: Thank you to Anya and Lindsay requesting this from the Archives. Now I have to dig up the rough recipe and make some. . . .

When I was growing up, everyone in my family cooked or baked or did both equally well. We weren’t fancy cooks or bakers, just great comfort foods and family favorites. One of the most requested family faves was the ” Triple Chocolate Doodles” my Grandma invented. As I grew older, I realized it was actually a variation of the “Snickerdoodle”, a vanilla-flavored cookie dough, soft enough to drop from a teaspoon onto a cookie sheet. Snickerdoodles were good, but if your tummy had a craving for chocolate, then only this triple chocolate doodle filled the bill.

The problem was Grandma didn’t have a written recipe for this family favorite. It was made so often that the recipe was engraved on her brain. It wasn’t exactly a real recipe when Grandma demonstrated what she did. As her granddaughters avidly watched and made copious notes, Grandma would be saying, “Now a chunk of butter like this, a couple of large eggs, a dollop of vanilla, this much sugar, keep adding flour until the dough feels right. . . .” and as she was talking, my grandma would be beating the life out of the butter, sugar and eggs. Fry’s cocoa powder played a huge part in the recipe as well as lots of dark chocolate chips and dark chocolate chunks. When the cookies were hot out of the oven and cooling on the racks, Grandma would add her finishing touch by drizzling melted dark chocolate over each doodle.

Every time Grandma made these, they were melt-in-your-mouth delicious and absolutely fail-proof. It didn’t matter if you asked what precise measure would make a “chunk” or how much exactly was a “dollop?” Or even how much was a “smidge?” After all, it had to be the same every time because scientifically, a more or less difference in the chunks, dollops and smidges would produce a less than perfect triple chocolate doodle. Right? At least that was my logical reasoning. And another thing, when does the dough feel right?

Well, I just figured out the secret of the family recipe. Precise amounts of ingredients doesn’t work. Throw logic out the window. Go with the chunks, dollops and smidges. Triple Chocolate Doodles are still a winner and absolutely fail-proof when you use Grandma’s recipe with her own special measurements made with lots of love and heaping amounts of chocolate. After all, anything with plenty of chocolate will be fail proof and perfect every time. Grandma had that right!

MEANDERING PATHS AND LANES

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I do enjoy the discovery of new paths and laneways. Oak Bay has so many that passing fellow walkers assures me there are many more. Often these laneways are an adventure to follow, just to see what familiar street or road it eventually merges with. And it can be an adventure what a walker discovers or encounters.

Today, I shot a young deer wearing small antlers. Unless you consider my cellphone as a weapon, this deer was not interested in me. He was happily nibbling his way through someone’s garden when I came within 4 feet of him. We eyed each other curiously and he decided this human was not dangerous. Still munching away, he watched as I got my cellphone to the camera feature and got it focused. That’s when he tossed his head back, flashed his antlers proudly and posed. I was so flustered, I had to refocus. When he saw how slow I was, I swear he heaved a sigh as he focused on his breakfast. I shot a couple of quick clicks hoping for one good photo. The one I kept is the one he seemed to say, “Finally!” as he watched me walk away.

Just walking to the supermarket brings a new discovery. I was returning from my errands, on a street close to the recreation center but on the opposite side I normally walk, when I saw this treasure–a very delightful and charming gnome home, partially hidden by the tall grass and leafy plants. Some caring and imaginative homeowner had taken the time to craft a charming home for the Little Folks on the boulevard outside his yard. The other side of the huge oak tree had an equally entertaining scene–an artfully crafted home for fairies. I know this because the tiny sign on its perfectly inserted front door reads “Fairies Live Here.”

Yesterday I decided to walk to Willows Beach. I had read of a local project to make a trail of painted rocks, lining the boulevard’s path leading to the sandy beach. Volunteers were encouraged to drop off their painted rocks to add to the rocky trail. It sounded like a colorful project and I wondered at the level of artistic talent. I wasn’t disappointed.

Following my feet, away from the water, I ventured down a neighboring street and discovered this attention-getting free library for kids. It is now among one of my favorite creatively crafted free libraries.

The end of a very hot Summer is coming to an end, signaling Autumn’s colorful and vibrant entrance. Berry pickers have enjoyed the bounty of wild blackberries that line some of the lanes and connectors. The oak leaves are falling and the fruit trees, especially the apples, are showing an early harvest. One generous homeowner had posted a sign encouraging people to pick what they needed, but leave some for others.

I had started with a wildlife shot, so I’ll end with this very cute and confident fawn who was following his mother and his twin into someone’s garden for their lunch buffet. AND this was on my walk home.

I wish you all a bountiful harvest with family, friends and those beautiful, unexpected moments in your daily lives.

JUST WALKING AND CAPTURING THE MOMENTS

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I seldom have any specific plans, just a vague direction where I decide to walk. Sometimes I have a yen to walk by the water, especially if I have a hankering for a warm croissant, a leisurely cup of excellent coffee and a superb sea view. Other times, I’ll feel adventurous and follow lanes or connectors to discover side streets that I didn’t realize would take me down another lane. The highlights of my jaunts would be finding stuff to photograph—often unexpected stuff.

One recent venture led me to a couple of streets that displayed some excellent utility pole art—art that only the area locals or adventurous walkers would delight in finding. According to one of the neighbors, their Community Centre had supplied the paints and the utility companies had encouraged the artwork lining the neighborhood. It was a fun walk, following the poles where one street melded into another, until I found myself temporarily “lost” in an unfamiliar area.

I eventually found myself on a familiar street, but being temporarily “lost” was worth the neighborhood art show. I heard from another neighbor that the paints were no longer supplied and the utility companies terminated the art project. However, the enterprising artists on the street ignored this and purchased their own paint to continue the pole art.

On other walks I have discovered the coincidence of a recurring theme—decorative gates or artsy fences or even bicycles—miniature, middling or normal —all recycled.

And yesterday, my walk kept encountering boats. This was unplanned and nowhere near water.

It seems no matter which direction I take , there will always be something for a walker to enjoy. And if you’re an adventurous urban walker, there’s an amazing amount of photographical treasures to be seen.

HAPPY WALKING EVERYONE!

Searching for the Perfect Home

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Feeling in a frivolous mood and what better way to express this. . . .to all the little girls who believe in fairies, elves and gnomes. . . .

Searching for a home is universal–whether for fairies, elves, gnomes or humans. It is the same requirements: location, location, location. And the price has to be reasonable.

If brand new, the right tree in the perfect location has to be selected and must answer the many questions asked by the potential buyer,

Is the entrance (hole) facing the right direction? Is it high enough for an excellent view? Would the architect be able to design a 3-bdrm/2-bath plus a small attachment for Grampa?

Or perhaps a penthouse with its private ladder access might appeal . . . .?

Then there are all the other choices available. Did the buyer want a fixer-upper? A handyman’s special? Or maybe just a fresh coat of paint? What about landscaping? A basement suite?

Or maybe a nice ready-to-move-in home—–complete with nicely painted steps and door, a tiny table and is that a mailbox to the left. . .?

And there’s always that very secluded stone mansion in the woods . . . . .

Add a handy-dandy “Beware of Gnomes” sign to ensure no trespassers come through the woods uninvited. . . . .

See, those Tiny Folks are just like us when it comes to house-hunting. . . . .

BUT when that perfect home is found, then the “Welcome” mat is the first thing to show “this is finally HOME!”

JOYFUL SPRING

thoughts and observations

After a resting Winter, Spring is always a delight to welcome with open arms. I like to search for signs of Spring wherever I do my random walking routes. I hit a looloopalooza day yesterday, when I spotted a bountiful treasure of blooms, popping out of the ground and bursting forth from ornamental bushes as well as boulevard trees.

Daffodils, crocuses and snowdrops all vying for the attention of people passing by. . . .

This beautiful Dogwood tree, in early bloom, is BC’s provincial flower. It is definitely an early Spring surprise.

Whenever I see the simple sight of a row of yellow daffodils, lifting their heads to the warm sun, framed against a white picket fence, it makes me want to whip out my paint brushes and sketch book. . . .but I whipped open my senior cellphone’s camera instead. . . .

Magnolia trees are in various locations. My favorite has always been the deep pink, large as dinner-plate blooms. . . .

I love the sight of Spring crocuses bursting onto bare ground and a sparse lawn; it’s almost as if it couldn’t wait and just wanted to be out of the dark and into the sun.

And a rambling walker has to admire the trees too—-trees prove Spring is here. Pink camellias are in bloom. . . . .

Ornamental cherry blossoms makes the heart sing. . . . . .

Crocuses grow in the most unexpected places—rocky and bare. . . . .

Blossoming trees plus a blooming camellia bush are all positive signs that Spring has arrived in all her finery. YAY, SPRING. . . . .and that means, Summer is not far behind!