(Thank you Gingerbelles and 3Bees for requesting this 2014 post from my Archives. All of you give fabulous parties with not a single hugger-mugger in sight! See you all in 2019)
I’m normally a non-violent lady who enjoys the quirks and foibles of her fellow man, but the one custom I’m not fond of is being bush-whacked by a hugger-mugger. Have you met any? I’m sure you know at least one or two. The reason I’m venting now is because another social season will soon be upon us and there are hordes of hugger-muggers ready to launch their hugs at any given moment.
Generally, these people seem very congenial and friendly until they clasp your hand and haul your unwilling self towards them to give you the mother of all hugs—up close and personal. I’ve checked my etiquette book and this is one custom not covered well. Chinese people are generally not touchy-feely unless it’s someone we know well—like really well. But in social gatherings, meeting some stranger for the first time and discovering too late they are hugger-muggers, makes a person think murderous thoughts or at best, a violent solution like a knee to the you-know-where.
Hugger-muggers are very sneaky people. They look so ordinary and normal until they get hit with any excuse for hugs at social gatherings. Give them a glass of wine or two or three and hugger-muggers are in their dangerous zone. This is when their hands tend to roam all over as part of their friendly hugs. Hugger-muggers do not read body language well and will translate a verbal “no” as “yes.”
So, to all hugger-muggers who are perfecting their hugging techniques–take note. I’ll be wearing my Kevlar vest, my 3″ stiletto heels and bringing my 6’3″, 4th degree black-belt martial arts husband. I may be short, but I won’t be defenseless if confronted by any hugger-muggers.