Does anyone else suffer through the ecxcruciating pain of navigating the convoluted maze of getting a real human to solve a telecommunication problem?

In my neck of the woods, I thought I discovered the painless method to bypass the lengthy wait on the phone to solve a problem with the phone bill. My secret shortcut was the online “chat” room with a human agent.

It used to be so quick. No queues. No one else in line. Now, I get a Robot.

Robot: Hello. How may I help you today?

Me: I’d like a real live person please.

Robot: I can help you.

Me: I’d like a real live person, please.

Robot: Do you mean an Agent?

Me: Yes.

Robot: I can help.

Me: No, I need an Agent.

Robot: Is it in regards to phone, TV or other technical problems?

Me: An Agent for Account Management.

Robot: I can direct you to an Agent regarding phone, TV or other technical problems.

Me: An Agent.

Robot: Would that be “Chat Online” or “Return Phone call?”

Me: Chat

Robot: One moment please. I will transfer you to an Agent. You are now 24th in the queue.

By the time I was connected to an Agent, I liked to think I was helping a trainee in dealing with human relation problems online. He/She felt good at helping me and I felt good offering training experience.

Not all the agents were trainees, but most seem to use that useful catchall phrase, “Let me consult with my colleague about this unique problem. ” As if my bill with the incorrect balance of a couple of extra zeroes was most unusual. To me, my bill made perfect sense in the hands of a vengeful robot who resented my request for a re al live Agent each time I called.

To be honest, there wouldn’t be any problems if my Hubby hadn’t called “Technical Assistance” for help in adding a second email address for himself. It seemed such a simple request except that trainee managed to remove the entire email program and decided to call it a day, leaving his colleague to fix the problem tomorrow.

After that nightmare was resolved the next morning, Hubby and I agreed that technology sucked big-time. However, the nightmare persisted in that our corrected online phone bill arrived under Hubby’s new email which he quickly forwarded to mine. Unfortunately I could no longer access the billing statement as it was now under Hubby’s new email and passcode.

So, that’s why I’m dealing with that vengeful robot again and waiting for a real human. . . again.