Short is Challenging

Short is Challenging

I thought new Readers might enjoy an earlier blog (April 2013), from my Red Room site, on the joys of being short. . .

I use to dream that I am a tall, slender person–in another life–probably in another lifetime. The reality is I’m short. My Grandma was a short lady. She would tell people she was 5 feet tall–actually, she missed that height by 2 inches. My Mom is also a short lady, but she’s a bit taller than my Grandma. Mom just missed 5 feet by half an inch. I like being the tallest at 5 feet plus half an inch. It seems each generation gets a little more of the height gene.

Short people never think they’re short.  We stand tall with our perfect postures.  We have good upper body muscle tone because we’re always reaching upwards and stretching for whatever it is, that’s just out of reach on that top shelf. At least, I like to think that until I stand beside someone taller–much taller.

There are lots of advantages to being short.  I’m still trying to think of some.  My niece tells me she meets a lot of cute guys- –very helpful guys, who don’t mind reaching for stuff in those hard-to-reach places. The cute, helpful seniors are also tickled to get stuff in hard-to-reach places for me too.

The other day there wasn’t anyone around to ask for assistance, so I checked to make sure no one was looking,  grabbed the opened door of the freezer for support, stepped on the bottom shelf of the freezer and reached in the back of the top shelf for my bag of McCain’s frozen potato cakes.  What the heck–while I was nicely balanced, I grabbed a second bag. And that’s when the manager came along, grabbed me by the waist and scolded me in an exasperated tone, “Look Kid–just find someone to help you. Didn’t I warn you before not to climb the shelves?  What if you fell and got hurt or. . .” His shocked voice trailed away as he realized he was lecturing a mature woman.  I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or flattered. At least, he set me down gently.

I hate taking my car in for its annual maintenance because I know when I get my car back, I would be spending 10  minutes adjusting the seat height, seat back and bringing the seat forward. Whenever I needed a “loaner” car from the body-shop, I would get a nice small compact that was very easy to drive–for little old ladies! To this day, my favourite loaner was a regular-size pickup truck. It was red and I sat up high. Commuting along a busy highway, I could see above and beyond other slow-moving cars. I could see obstacles ahead, unless there was something higher, like a bus or a really huge truck ahead of me.

I think, in another life, I was probably a “pickup truck”  kind of person AND a much taller person too!

Bathing Suit Torture Part II: Call the Paramedics

This is too funny not to share AND I am never going to go looking for a bathing suit–ever! Not only has times and fashions changed but our darn bodies as well–phooey! Good luck in your mission, Eva. . .

evanatiello's avatarEva Lesko Natiello

photo by The Pie Shops Collection photo by The Pie Shops Collection

My objective was to make my bathing suit shopping experience as painless as possible. The environment would be key. I needed a store that was calm with wide open aisles, soft music, helpful salespeople. Crawling under a disheveled clothing rack, searching for the elusive bottom to the perfect top, or wrenching it from the clutches of a woman who believed it was hers, would not work. Been there, done that.

So at 9:05am Monday morning I coaxed myself through the doors of Lord & Taylor.

There wasn’t a soul in the swimwear department. I glided around the circular racks like an adolescent guppy until I was sure I had seen all the offerings. It was so civilized. This kind of bathing suit shopping was a joy. I could do this! I let out a heavy sigh–breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I…

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Where did they learn that?

Kids say the funniest things–things probably picked up from an adult who didn’t realize what little kids remember.  My friend’s grand-daughter just had a birthday. She’s a brand new eight and with definite ideas on fashion. Her Nana had just passed her a bulky package.

Eagerly pulling the tissue paper apart,  Anya shook out the gaily striped summer top.

“Oo-oh, I like this top, Nana.” She pulled aside more tissue and shook open the pair of jeans. “But I don’t like these, Nana. Did Aunty Bee buy this? I’ve never liked the feel of jeans.”  My friend confessed the parcel was from both her and Aunty Bee. At which point, the mini-munchkin announced, “If Aunty Bee bought these, then Aunty Bee has to return them.”

Days later, I met up with my friend Bee. “Hey, what happened with Anya’s birthday prez?” I asked.

Laughing, Bee said she had stopped by the house to give Anya her present. Bee knew the kids had just gotten home from their day-camp but the parents wouldn’t be home for another half hour. Ringing the door-bell, Bee had caught the quick flash of a face at the window,  quickly ducking out of view. Bee rang the doorbell again.

A voice from behind the door announced, “We are sorry we missed your call. Your visit is very important to us. Please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as possible.”

With a straight face, Bee replied, “I’m sorry I missed you too as I have a very important parcel to deliver  and I guess it just goes back to the store.” Bee laughed as she recalled how quickly the door flew open. And yes, the pair of colorful summer pants met with approval.