All posts by sammee44

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About sammee44

I am a West Coast Reader and Writer who enjoys the big and little things in Life. My philosophy is--if you don't enjoy those precious moments and savour the joy, then how can you appreciate the little things that crosses your daily path?

Bathing Suit Torture Part II: Call the Paramedics

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This is too funny not to share AND I am never going to go looking for a bathing suit–ever! Not only has times and fashions changed but our darn bodies as well–phooey! Good luck in your mission, Eva. . .

evanatiello's avatarEva Lesko Natiello

photo by The Pie Shops Collection photo by The Pie Shops Collection

My objective was to make my bathing suit shopping experience as painless as possible. The environment would be key. I needed a store that was calm with wide open aisles, soft music, helpful salespeople. Crawling under a disheveled clothing rack, searching for the elusive bottom to the perfect top, or wrenching it from the clutches of a woman who believed it was hers, would not work. Been there, done that.

So at 9:05am Monday morning I coaxed myself through the doors of Lord & Taylor.

There wasn’t a soul in the swimwear department. I glided around the circular racks like an adolescent guppy until I was sure I had seen all the offerings. It was so civilized. This kind of bathing suit shopping was a joy. I could do this! I let out a heavy sigh–breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I…

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Where did they learn that?

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Kids say the funniest things–things probably picked up from an adult who didn’t realize what little kids remember.  My friend’s grand-daughter just had a birthday. She’s a brand new eight and with definite ideas on fashion. Her Nana had just passed her a bulky package.

Eagerly pulling the tissue paper apart,  Anya shook out the gaily striped summer top.

“Oo-oh, I like this top, Nana.” She pulled aside more tissue and shook open the pair of jeans. “But I don’t like these, Nana. Did Aunty Bee buy this? I’ve never liked the feel of jeans.”  My friend confessed the parcel was from both her and Aunty Bee. At which point, the mini-munchkin announced, “If Aunty Bee bought these, then Aunty Bee has to return them.”

Days later, I met up with my friend Bee. “Hey, what happened with Anya’s birthday prez?” I asked.

Laughing, Bee said she had stopped by the house to give Anya her present. Bee knew the kids had just gotten home from their day-camp but the parents wouldn’t be home for another half hour. Ringing the door-bell, Bee had caught the quick flash of a face at the window,  quickly ducking out of view. Bee rang the doorbell again.

A voice from behind the door announced, “We are sorry we missed your call. Your visit is very important to us. Please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as possible.”

With a straight face, Bee replied, “I’m sorry I missed you too as I have a very important parcel to deliver  and I guess it just goes back to the store.” Bee laughed as she recalled how quickly the door flew open. And yes, the pair of colorful summer pants met with approval.